Living through an American Recession

Dealing with never ending life changes. Who says making lemonade is the best thing to do with those lemons life throws at you?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Empty Nest (party) Syndrome

So it dawned on me the other day, my son is 18 and on his way out the door, or so I thought. It seems there's always something else to do or some unforseen hang up that keeps him on my skinny income. I mean, I make good money but not enough for the kitchen clearing he can do.So why is the empty nest syndrome they talk about that's supposed to be so lonely an empty next rave party at my house? Yeah bitches, freedom at last. Now don't get me wrong I love him more than anything in the world and he's the best damn kid a parent could ask for he just needs to get a move on, mamma got shit ta do.

Now I grew up an only child as he is also an only child, but we couldn't be more different. He's very family oriented and can't wait to have kids and get married. I can't wait to live alone for the first time in 25 years! He's a homebody, grounded and routine. I'm freespirited, moving and hate being indoors too much. We balance each other well, being so opposite.

I honestly can't wait to go into the kitchen and find ALL the food still there, use my computer when I want to, not have to borrow my own car and find all the shit I left still in the same spot I left it. WTF! No more getting stuck with the last 3 squares of toilet paper, "turn down the music mom, gees", fighting over tv shows, or the zillion "what's for dinner" texts. My couch won't smell like stinky teenager and my dog will finally get some rest from the years of harassment.

What the hell with I do? I'll tell you what the hell I'm gonna do.... For starters I'm gonna have a nice salad for dinner, just a fucking salad. No more 4 course meals or trips to fast food. I'm going to take a bath with every waterproof sex toy I own all at the same time. Then I'm going to swagger down the hall butt ass naked, cause I can, and lay on my bed and maybe even stop off in the kitchen for a cup of yogurt that is still in MY frige, full of MY fucking food. Fuck yeah! And when I have a hot flash in the middle of the night I don't care who see's my ass sticking out of from under the covers. I might even do a naked dance in front of the webcam with my friend just for a laugh.

Ahhhh, freedom... So here's to all those empty nesters out there enjoying THEIR lives once more. Cheers!